"You look lovely Els" That's the first thing he said to me after the nikah. Oh, this is my husband. This man. This suddenly gorgeous being.
I can't explain it in words. Why suddenly, right after the nikah, I felt this strong connection to this man. Just last night, I spent the night away regretting my decision. Thinking of the doubts. The wrong decisions. Last night.
But at this moment, I am fascinated over the same man. Overwhelmingly. Suddenly I wish we are alone so that I can let him hold me. I grabbed his hand and held them in my hands.
"Sarung cincin la. The ring!", my sister whispered rather loudly poking my shoulder. I let him go, and his cousin passed him the ring. A wedding band. A simple platinum wedding band. He hesitated. Then showed me the inscription "Loving You". I nodded, and he slide the ring. My wedding band. We got matching wedding bands. But we each had our own incriptions, mine had "You and I". I slid the ring over his finger. Then we did the ever so sweet salam ritual, well not so much a ritual pun. I kissed his hand, and he kissed my head (he did, I still don't know whether he intended to kiss my forehead but somehow missed, but he kissed me on the head!) and then we posed for some pictures.
We didn't exchange any other words until later that night. He was supposed to leave with his family. Before he left, he came looking for me in the room. I was getting out of the so beautiful baju kurung. He closed the door, and leaned against it.
"You are leaving me on our wedding night?" That got him laughing.
"Yeah. They are waiting for me. I will see you tomorrow."
"Dont go. Stay. You are mine now." For the first time, in all the time that I knew him, I went to him. I walked to him. Always, he came to me. I rested my head on his chest, and felt this overwhelming love. A wife.
"I am yours. Forever now, Els." Then I felt his hands enveloping me.
Of course, my family never forgave me for not letting him go home that night. Too bad. That's my husband you want to leave. He somehow managed to talk to his family to let him stay. I am sure we were the talk of town that week. Who cares? We had our wedding night, didn't we?
That moment, when he uttured those words, holding my hands. That moment, I somehow let go of other feelings. Everyone else. All I had was him, and he was mine. I guess, thats the power of Nikah. When Allah sets two strangers to become family.
I did look lovely. Very very lovely, indeed.
I can't explain it in words. Why suddenly, right after the nikah, I felt this strong connection to this man. Just last night, I spent the night away regretting my decision. Thinking of the doubts. The wrong decisions. Last night.
But at this moment, I am fascinated over the same man. Overwhelmingly. Suddenly I wish we are alone so that I can let him hold me. I grabbed his hand and held them in my hands.
"Sarung cincin la. The ring!", my sister whispered rather loudly poking my shoulder. I let him go, and his cousin passed him the ring. A wedding band. A simple platinum wedding band. He hesitated. Then showed me the inscription "Loving You". I nodded, and he slide the ring. My wedding band. We got matching wedding bands. But we each had our own incriptions, mine had "You and I". I slid the ring over his finger. Then we did the ever so sweet salam ritual, well not so much a ritual pun. I kissed his hand, and he kissed my head (he did, I still don't know whether he intended to kiss my forehead but somehow missed, but he kissed me on the head!) and then we posed for some pictures.
We didn't exchange any other words until later that night. He was supposed to leave with his family. Before he left, he came looking for me in the room. I was getting out of the so beautiful baju kurung. He closed the door, and leaned against it.
"You are leaving me on our wedding night?" That got him laughing.
"Yeah. They are waiting for me. I will see you tomorrow."
"Dont go. Stay. You are mine now." For the first time, in all the time that I knew him, I went to him. I walked to him. Always, he came to me. I rested my head on his chest, and felt this overwhelming love. A wife.
"I am yours. Forever now, Els." Then I felt his hands enveloping me.
Of course, my family never forgave me for not letting him go home that night. Too bad. That's my husband you want to leave. He somehow managed to talk to his family to let him stay. I am sure we were the talk of town that week. Who cares? We had our wedding night, didn't we?
That moment, when he uttured those words, holding my hands. That moment, I somehow let go of other feelings. Everyone else. All I had was him, and he was mine. I guess, thats the power of Nikah. When Allah sets two strangers to become family.
I did look lovely. Very very lovely, indeed.
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