“I don’t understand, you like this guy kan?” I shrugged. Mi didn’t slap my arms like Yai do when I shrug. Mi is the patient one. She has been a friend for a long while. We met in college and Allah has kept us together since then.
“So… you are not sure, whether you like him or not?” Trying to understand my predicament definitely not an easy feat. I am sorry Mi that you have to go through this phase of life with me.
“Oi” Ok, patience thinning.
“Ntah. Aku tak tahu. I like him, yes. But you know I have this fixation over that 'Other One'… Can I really forget him and accept someone new?” I got a hug. Not that I deserve it, but since I am a selfish woman, I hugged her back.
“That 'Other One', the one you think of a lot of time… He is not in your life anymore Els. You don’t have to forget, but you don’t have to have him in your life now either.” Wise words. Not easy to swallow. We started walking. Actually, I started walking, and Mi had to walk or risk being dragged by me. We were at the children playground opposite Mi's house. Being my best friend must pain her horribly, yet she somehow persevered over many years.
“He is not coming back Els. Kau ni. You have to let go.” This time she stop walking and held her ground. My eyes watered again. These days, I am worst than a cry baby.
“What if he comes back Mi?”
“Els! If he wants to, he is already here by now! Listen Elsa. Aku bukan suruh kau forget. No. Just to be realistic sket. Now, I am talking like Mel dah. He is not here, we never know whether he will come back or when he will come back. So kau nak tunggu, sampai bila? You wanna die a VIRGIN?” At that, we laughed. No I don’t want to die a virgin. I guess.
We walked in silence for a while, and then we saw her son and yummy husband, Fuad.
“Els… This is my bit ok. I seriously can feel your love for him. Not to mention his love for you. Its just obvious. Fuad pun noticed ok? He is seriously in love with you, and for the love of God, kau pun sayang ngan dia. Stop running Els. Your knight is here, he has arrived at your doorstep. Don’t wait for Lancelot Els. He is no longer in your life. Let the past be the past.” This time, Mi choked on her words. Of all people, she knows how much I loved the 'Other One'. She hugged me and walked away to pick up her son. I saw her talking to Fuad, saw him wiped her tears and held her hands. Suddenly, he turned to look at me and nodded.
That night, I sent sms to my Lancelot (as Mi had put it) “heyy you”. A moment later I received “heyy Nyet” Yeah, he calls me Monyet. Yes, as in monkey. I stared at the words for a while. Must be a long while since another sms came in from him “You ok? Everything cool?” He still worries about me. I replied “Yes. All is well”. Almost immediately “Good”.
Just before I dozed off, I got another sms, “Girl, all will be well. Love you hunny” from Mi.
Yes, all will be well. InshaAllah.
“So… you are not sure, whether you like him or not?” Trying to understand my predicament definitely not an easy feat. I am sorry Mi that you have to go through this phase of life with me.
“Oi” Ok, patience thinning.
“Ntah. Aku tak tahu. I like him, yes. But you know I have this fixation over that 'Other One'… Can I really forget him and accept someone new?” I got a hug. Not that I deserve it, but since I am a selfish woman, I hugged her back.
“That 'Other One', the one you think of a lot of time… He is not in your life anymore Els. You don’t have to forget, but you don’t have to have him in your life now either.” Wise words. Not easy to swallow. We started walking. Actually, I started walking, and Mi had to walk or risk being dragged by me. We were at the children playground opposite Mi's house. Being my best friend must pain her horribly, yet she somehow persevered over many years.
“He is not coming back Els. Kau ni. You have to let go.” This time she stop walking and held her ground. My eyes watered again. These days, I am worst than a cry baby.
“What if he comes back Mi?”
“Els! If he wants to, he is already here by now! Listen Elsa. Aku bukan suruh kau forget. No. Just to be realistic sket. Now, I am talking like Mel dah. He is not here, we never know whether he will come back or when he will come back. So kau nak tunggu, sampai bila? You wanna die a VIRGIN?” At that, we laughed. No I don’t want to die a virgin. I guess.
We walked in silence for a while, and then we saw her son and yummy husband, Fuad.
“Els… This is my bit ok. I seriously can feel your love for him. Not to mention his love for you. Its just obvious. Fuad pun noticed ok? He is seriously in love with you, and for the love of God, kau pun sayang ngan dia. Stop running Els. Your knight is here, he has arrived at your doorstep. Don’t wait for Lancelot Els. He is no longer in your life. Let the past be the past.” This time, Mi choked on her words. Of all people, she knows how much I loved the 'Other One'. She hugged me and walked away to pick up her son. I saw her talking to Fuad, saw him wiped her tears and held her hands. Suddenly, he turned to look at me and nodded.
That night, I sent sms to my Lancelot (as Mi had put it) “heyy you”. A moment later I received “heyy Nyet” Yeah, he calls me Monyet. Yes, as in monkey. I stared at the words for a while. Must be a long while since another sms came in from him “You ok? Everything cool?” He still worries about me. I replied “Yes. All is well”. Almost immediately “Good”.
Just before I dozed off, I got another sms, “Girl, all will be well. Love you hunny” from Mi.
Yes, all will be well. InshaAllah.
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